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 The most important thing you can do for someone is believe and listen to them. Let them be in control of what they tell you. Try not to ask lots of questions or push for detailed information about the incident. When someone is raped or abused they have had their control taken away from them. A very important factor in recovery is helping them gain that control back again. Letting them choose what they tell you is giving them some control back. Coming to terms with rape or sexual assault is not easy and may take a long time so try and be patient and give the person time and space. If you are in a sexual relationship with the person then try to let them decide what kind of physical contact they want and when. Focus on love and care rather than sex. Don't pressure them into having sex with you before they are ready. Always remind the person that what happened to them was not their fault. You may be able to help the person with tasks they are unable to do at the moment but be aware of not taking over. Accept their choice of dealing with the rape even if you disagree with what they are doing. For example, don't pressurise them into reporting to the police if they don't want to. It might be helpful for you to do some reading on the subject - see our suggested reading list. You may also suggest the survivor do some reading if they think that will help them. It may be hurtful if someone close to you is shutting you out or going elsewhere for help and support but some survivors find it easier to talk to people who are not emotionally involved with them. Supporting someone is very emotionally draining and exhausting. It is important that you have some support yourself. Most helplines are willing to talk to people who are supporting someone. Look in your phone for your local number or ring us on frrphone 0808 800 1144.. |
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You can contact the Wiltshire Rape Support Help Line by calling; freephone 0808 800 1144 . We are open, Thursdays 9.30am - 12.30pm & 7.00pm - 10.00pm. There is an answerphone on at all other times. If you are able to leave a safe number we will call you back during these times or at other times by arrangement. Or you can write to Rape Support, c/o 31A The Brittox, Devizes, Wiltshire, SN10 1AJ
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 Copyright National Association of Victim Support Scheme. President, HRH The Princess Royal. Charity No. 900158. |
